This post was written by Susie O’Shaughnessy, M. Div., staff chaplain, Parkview Health.
On June 8, I attended the funeral mass for Father Ed Erpelding who served Parkview Regional Medical Center (PRMC) in his retirement years. He was a parish priest and a chaplain in the U.S. Navy for many years.
Fr. Ed was a kind, funny soul who loved to talk and tell stories. But at the end of the story ,he got serious. He offered a prayer and the anointing of the sick or a word of encouragement. Fr. Ed was a good storyteller and a great listener, and he always demonstrated the love of God to patients, families and co-workers. He put hands and feet to the Gospel of Jesus Christ in service and by demonstrating the love of God to those around him. He not only ministered to Catholics, but to anyone of any faith wherever he saw a need. Fr. Ed truly had a servant’s heart.
As I sat in the pew during the service, smelling the incense, listening to the music and the liturgy, I observed family and friends gathered to remember and celebrate Fr. Ed. As we gathered, there was a sense of community. I had a sense of what it means to lose one of our own. We remembered and reflected as a community and as individuals.
At Parkview, we have a website (intranet) for announcements and general information. When we lose one of our own to death, flags are lowered to half-staff in their memory, and a link is provided to their obituary.
What we do as healthcare workers is hard. It can be stressful. Even healthcare workers are not immune to loss and stress.
Fr. Ed’s death made me to think about my time with Parkview Health and my calling to the ministry. In the busy pace at work, it’s sometimes hard to find time to do that. Things can be busy and hectic. Sometimes, because of what we do, it’s necessary to compartmentalize so that we can move from situation to situation as we answer our pages. We may have to transition quickly from helping a family after a death to go to a notary or an “ordinary” spiritual consult for someone who wants a prayer.
We all experience stress from time to time. It’s good to take some time to take stock, sit back and reflect. As a chaplain, the church and the chapel at work are comforting places for me to go for a quiet moment of prayer and reflection. Sometimes it’s necessary to get quiet so you can hear your heart, so to speak.
My spirit resonates with the atmosphere of the church and the chapel. One of my chaplain mentors, the Rev. Dr. Clare Walter, used to “cocoon.” She would get a blanket and a cup of coffee and wrap herself up on the couch to “just breath.” She shut out the world around her for a few minutes to “check in” with her heart. My brother, Dr. Mark O’Shaughnessy, PPG – Cardiology, has a prayer journal. His time of reading scripture, journaling and taking a few minutes every morning allows him to ground himself as he gears up for the day. I have a habit of turning the page of a calendar that has quotes on it every day. For just a moment, I read and reflect on a short quote, and I say a prayer for the friend who gave it to me. Then I go on to make coffee and read a devotional. But, that quick moment of reflection helps me get centered and in touch with what I’m feeling, my emotions and my spirit.
Psalm 46:10 reads, … “Be still, and know that I am God.” It’s a familiar verse. The Psalmist speaks to times when we face challenges and knowing that God is our refuge and our strength through all that we encounter.
How do you get quiet, or still, to hear your heart? It doesn’t have to be in a church or chapel. It may be on the waters of a lake watching the sun rise or set. It may be time that you take to reconnect with what you’re feeling after a busy time. I always tell families that are experiencing a trauma, medical event or death that it’s okay to take some time and “feel what you’re feeling.” Sometimes I wonder if they understand what I mean.
It’s so easy to be caught up in all the things we need to do that we forget to check in with our feelings, our emotions and our spirit. It’s so easy to push aside feelings to focus on tasks. That’s what I mean by saying take time to feel what you’re feeling. Not everyone processes feelings, emotions and spirituality at the same time or in the same way. That’s why it’s important to periodically get quiet so that you can hear your own heart.
As I sat in the pew and thought about Fr. Ed, I reflected that within the past year, I’ve experienced the loss of three people I considered mentors and important to my spiritual formation: Fr. Ed, Chaplain Carole Green and Chaplain Kent Green (not related to each other, but co-workers).
Sometimes we need to get quiet so that we can hear our heart. Sometimes we need to just be. Services like the mass for Fr. Ed help us to slow down, reflect and reconnect. I hadn’t even realized the magnitude of losing colleagues who mentored me all within one year. Slowing down to pray, to listen to the music and the chanting of the priests, and smelling the incense allowed me to hear my own heart and reflect. I am grateful for them all.
May you find your moment to be still, to connect with your heart and your spirit, too.
