There is no right way to grieve, but there are healthy strategies for dealing with the loss of a loved one. One way many choose to cope with their grief is by attending a support group. Groups like this are an excellent way to share your sorrow with others who have experienced similar loss, learn coping strategies and feel more empowered while being a part of a community. To expand on this invaluable resource, we asked Sue McDonald to share her personal experience with the Parkview Hospice support group and the many ways it has helped her live her life to the fullest.
How did you choose Parkview’s hospice support group?
I was fortunate enough to utilize Parkview’s Hospice support group two different times. I joined after the passing of my grandmother and then again with the passing of my father. I found the information simply by searching online for grief support groups, however, I knew from my time as a social worker in a nursing facility that Parkview was the best. I saw the compassion and dedication of the Parkview hospice team daily, then I had the opportunity to experience it firsthand with the exceptional care they provided my father in his time of need. So, I knew the support group was what I needed and would be a great option for me.
Can you describe your experience with the support group?
The best example I can think of is when my grandmother passed away. You see, we were best friends. When she died, I needed a lot of support. She was such a significant part of my life. I hadn't truly taken the time to prepare myself and deal with losing her. I knew I had to do something. I wanted to learn more about grief and how to express it. I needed a safe place I could talk about my grief. Then, when I got there, the support group was more than I could have ever hoped for. It was comforting to see that I wasn’t the only one hurting. Getting to hear other people tell their stories, share their photographs and memories of loved ones, and expand on what they were going through was extremely healing. I hoped the support group would help me learn how to go on living my life while missing an integral piece of it. Fortunately, it did.
How has the support group impacted your quality of life?
I really felt like I was able to let go with the help of the support group. I remember a meeting when we were asked to bring in a picture and speak about the person we had lost. During that meeting we discussed guilt. I remember feeling guilty when I realized I wasn’t thinking of my grandmother as often as I had when she first passed. The group helped me understand this was normal and a crucial part of the healing process as I moved through my grief.
As a social worker, I know all the stages of grief, but it’s different when it’s your own family. Attending the hospice support group helped educate me on the stages from the perspective of a loved one rather than a professional. It helped me realize that my thoughts and feelings were completely normal.
I also like knowing that I always have this group sitting in my back pocket. It makes me feel safe and comfortable knowing I can always reconnect with the leaders or participants of the group if my grief starts to overcome me. I know there are people who are always willing to help.
What would you say to those who had helped you in the support group?
Thank you. Thank you for their compassion, their understanding and their direction. Without everyone involved in this support group and having gone through those experiences, I don't think I'd be as secure in my life as I am right now. Dealing with the grief and facing it head on was extremely profound and the hospice support group helped to facilitate that process.
What should a first-time participant expect from the support group?
Someone new to a support group can expect a safe space, a place to unload their grief. Also, find comfort knowing you are surrounded by other loving and caring people who are going through similar experiences. Know you’re not alone and things will get better. Remember, the support group is there to help you cope and learn how to have hope. It will help you understand that your grief isn't the end. You will heal and your life will continue to move forward.
What advice would you give others considering joining a support group?
I would say go for it. Utilizing a support group is a fantastic first step to begin the healing process. It’s going to feel overwhelming at times, but when you feel like you're not going to be able to do it, do it anyway. It's worth it.
Current support group offerings
Understanding Your Grief is a support group being offered twice a year to support individuals and families who have lost a loved one. This free, ten-week program will meet again virtually beginning in mid-January. If you have questions or wish to participate in the Understanding Your Grief virtual support group, please email Cathy.Petrie@parkview.com or call 260-373-9800 or 800-363-9977.
